What does "Honor your father and your mother" mean if parents are abusive?
The short answer
Children owe obedience to parents "in the Lord," in what is for their good or the family's, but must never obey an order their conscience judges morally wrong. Obedience ends when children become independent; respect is always owed.
The fourth commandment says, "Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land the LORD your God is giving you" (Exodus 20:12). Paul clarifies it: "Children, obey your parents [in the Lord], for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1). The qualifier "in the Lord" matters.
The Catechism explains that a child living at home should obey his parents in all they ask that is for his good or the family's. But if he is convinced in conscience that obeying a particular order would be morally wrong, he must not obey it. Obedience to parents ends when children are emancipated; respect for them does not (CCC 2217).
Continue exploring
- My brother wants to "marry" another man and adopt children. What do I do?Q&A
- My cousin lives with her lesbian partner. Am I a bigot for feeling uncomfortable around them?Q&A
- What does the Catholic Church teach about abortion?Q&A
- What does the Church teach about euthanasia and assisted suicide?Q&A
- What is the correct list of the Ten Commandments?Q&A
- Why does the Church say it's acceptable to be a patriot as well as a Christian?Q&A