Why was Zechariah punished for his lack of belief, while Mary wasn't?
The short answer
Zechariah, a priest who knew God had given Abraham and Sarah a son in old age, still asked for a sign — showing a lack of faith that God could and would provide. Mary's question shows she did not expect relations with Joseph, so she needed to know how a child could come without them; once Gabriel explained, she accepted.
Zechariah's objection
Zechariah objected that he was old and his wife advanced in years. But as a religiously educated Jew and a temple priest, he knew Abraham and Sarah had been given a son late in life. By asking for another sign, he showed a lack of faith that God could and would provide.
Mary's question
Mary's question was entirely different. It implies she was not expecting marital relations with Joseph; otherwise she would have assumed the child would come within her coming marriage. She needed to know how a woman could have a baby without relations with a man.
Her acceptance
When Gabriel explained that the Holy Spirit would accomplish it, she accepted without further question.
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