Was Jesus male before the Incarnation?
The short answer
No. Before the Incarnation the Son was pure spirit, like the Father and the Holy Spirit, and had no gender. He became male only when he became the man Christ Jesus. God reveals himself mainly in masculine terms as the one who initiates salvation; the Church, which receives it, is revealed in feminine terms.
Before the Incarnation the Son was pure spirit, as are the Father and the Holy Spirit, and so had no gender. Only when he became incarnate as the man Christ Jesus did he become male. The Father and the Spirit remain pure spirit, without biological gender.
In revealing himself to us, the Triune God uses mainly masculine terms because he is the initiator, the first cause, the one who begins salvation. The Church is revealed in feminine terms because she receives salvation and nurtures Christians with the graces received from the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.