How can I explain that praying before a statue of Mary isn't idolatry?
The short answer
Use a little logic. No one would say a Protestant praying with a Bible pressed to her heart is praying to the Bible, or that a photo of a deceased relative on the mantel means ancestor worship. The same reasoning applies to Catholics praying before a statue.
A bit of logic may open doors. Ask her how she would react if a Catholic said, "At a Protestant service I saw a woman praying to the Bible!" She would say he misunderstood: the woman, eyes closed and Bible pressed to her heart, was praying not to the book but to the God who inspired it. No one would conclude she was treating her Bible as an idol. Why conclude a Catholic treats a statue of Mary as one?
Likewise, would anyone reasonable accuse her of ancestor worship for keeping a photo of a deceased relative on her mantel? Of course not. Encourage her to apply the same logic when she sees Catholics pray.
Patrick Madrid's Search and Rescue: How to Bring Your Family and Friends Into, or Back Into, the Catholic Church may help.
Continue exploring
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